This year has just begun and it’s brand new … shiny, bright and with so much promise. There are so many things I want this year. New job, new adventure, new clients, new, new, new.
I am tired of the old. I’m ready to be brave, take risks, go crazy …
I want to be brand new.
But is it possible? I don’t know. Grr. Humility and self-realization are a long way down from pride and denial. And the fall hurts like hell. I’m to the point now that I’ve learned where my talent lies and where it does not, but even now, I cannot take stock in that talent … or rather I cannot take credit for it. I have to give it back up – to God, to the universe, to whoever or whatever has allowed to discover what I’m good at and enjoy it. There are so many who aren’t allowed that privelege. I may not be rich, but at least I have that.
I used to live in fear that the sky was going to fall on my head, always afraid that bad things were destined for me. It was a very depressing place to be, to say the very least, and I’m glad to be on the other side – hopin, wishin, prayin and believin in good things. But there’s a balance. Life sucks, shit happens and you just have to be prepared. Shit doesn’t happen because you’re a bad person who only deserves bad things – it happens because we live in a shitty world with imperfect people all trying just to survive. People suck – and that includes you and me. But just because we all suck doesn’t mean we have to stay that way. We can change, we can rise above it, we can become better people. It takes work, a willingness to look at your flaws and not just admit them, but try to change them. It’s painful at times, but also beautiful and scary and rich and fufilling. If you’re ready (and, boy, I am), we can do it.
We can become brand new.
